They say that satellite crashed in the pacific.... Nah, it landed at The Attic!

NASA officials reported signs of life, namely six beings with ability to inject some "seriously phat beats!" The local area around Stokes Croft is believed to be on a heightened state of alert, as pockets of the community began breaking out with sporadic bursts of what can only be described as dance. It is also believed to be highly contagious. Anyone showing signs of these symptoms should report to the dance floor on the 8th October. Operation codename 'Sickwax' is in full effect.

Reported at 9pm by

Osbert Lancaster